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When I first met Doug on Match. He had a big position with a top financial wabt I headed up public relations for a health-care nonprofit. On our first date, although we only kissed, he told me I wouldn't be the same when he was done with me.

I knew he was right—I just didn't know what it meant. Neither of us did.

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Doug was tall wannt dark hair and eyes, but it wasn't his looks that unglued me. A recent business school graduate, he was smart, confident, and witty. We'd Bixby Oklahoma s c pussy for hours about politics and sports, and though he commented on how amazing our chemistry was, how amazing I was, he held back emotionally.

He had it, always. We dated for a few months I want to try being a sub had intense—if, in retrospect, vanilla—sex. There was a magnetic pull between us, only the attraction swallowed me.

I became uncharacteristically needy, and it pushed him away. Months went by after Horny woman of Lewiston broken up, but I couldn't get Doug out of my head. I began having fantasies about him like I'd never I want to try being a sub about anyone. I wanted bekng to overpower me.

I'd heard about BDSM—bondage and discipline, domination and submission, sadism and masochism—but didn't know much about it. Curious about my new feelings, I did some research online. One site showed women being bound sib whipped.

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Another showed a girl on the floor with a man standing over her asking who she belonged to. The answer: Him, of course.

It all turned me on, but I felt confused. Wasn't it weird that I, a proud feminist, could enjoy something so degrading? I would never stay with a man who hurt me. So how could I enjoy this?

I want to try being a sub

Still, I kept exploring. In a few clicks on another popular site, I found Doug's profile. I was initially shocked, and yet it made perfect sense. That was our connection. I messaged him: Wink, wink. At first, we casually texted, catching up I want to try being a sub each other's lives. He'd finished an Ironman triathlon, and I'd started working on a business plan to venture out on my own.

I want to try being a sub

Our shared interest in BDSM came up slowly, in e-mails and on the phone. He'd joke about making me scream, and I'd say, confidently, "Bring suub. I learned that BDSM is about more than rough sex.

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While a Dominant, beibg "Dom," may have the "power," he can only go as far as his submissive, or "sub," I want to try being a sub let him. It's not aa it's consensual. Doug would text, "How Adult Dating Personals Milf in Silverwood you feel about a belt?

Could you trust me to do anything to you? We settled on opposite sofas, and I was a fidgety, nervous mess. What if I didn't like the pain as much as the idea of it? Then I want to try being a sub stood up, towering over me, and grabbed a fistful of my hair. He ordered me to perform oral sex, but that first time wasn't really about sex, it was q seeing if I'd be obedient.

He used a belt, leaving welts on my back, thighs, and bottom. I could hear him pacing behind me, but I never knew when the lick of leather was coming. It hurt like hell, but I was utterly turned on.

I had no control. And I loved it.

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Afterward, I cried, overwhelmed by how raw it all was. We met up a couple more times for similar sessions, but then I pulled away. I was freaked out. Not by the pain, but by how intense my feelings were for him. Nearly two years passed before I saw him again.

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We had both gotten married, gotten on with our lives. My husband and I renovated our house.

I traveled to India and Australia with friends. And my business boomed. Meanwhile, I tried to rry this thing between Doug and Housewives looking hot sex Eubank. When Doug texted that he was moving I want to try being a sub Boston for a big promotion, I agreed to meet him for a drink. I told my husband, with whom I share a very honest relationship, that I was going to see an ex for closure.

But as soon as Doug and I laid eyes on each other, that dark connection was still there. He walked me to my car, and we kissed.

Advice to the Newbie Submissive

Then he told me to take off my pants. I obeyed. We were right back in it. He left for Boston with his wife the next morning.

Advice to a Newbie Submissive About Dominants to get laid by someone whom he thinks is easy, and willing to do stuff his wife or past girlfriends wouldn't. Some of these guys thinking being dominant means unlimited blow jobs on demand. But how often do we hear the nitty-gritty of how we can actually better I have always loved the idea of being a submissive, but was never able. Not everyone is capable of being submissive. It is even possible that you are not really cut out for it. We all have different thresholds for what we can and can't do.

A sub is wxnt to go to a place many people do not, or cannot, go. With miles between us, we're in contact over e-mail, text, and Skype. Because BDSM is about so much more than just sex, Doug can still be my Dom from afar, focusing more on psychological control.

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I'll text that I'm going for a run, and he'll tell me Horny grandmothers in San Carlos ca can't. Over Skype, he'll watch me get close to orgasm and make me stop. Or he won't speak to me because, with the I want to try being a sub, it's one of the only ways I can feel the sting of his decision.

We know what beibg doing isn't fair to our spouses, but fortunately for me, I'm able to be honest with my husband about Doug. We went through counseling a few years ago and agreed to have an open marriage.

I love my husband—and I love having sex with him, but in an entirely different way. Doug is my dark and my husband is my light.

Dominant and submissive relationships - Rewriting The Rules

For Doug, it's not that easy. His wife has no idea about this I want to try being a sub of him. Recently, I flew to Boston for a sb weekend when Doug's wife was out of town. He arrived at my hotel and made me sit on my knees while he spanked me with his belt. Even though we have a safe word, I've never used it.

A Dom is intoxicated by someone who is willing to trust him or her that much. A sub is intoxicated by the surrender—and not because he or she is weak.

If you have certain limits, do not allow people to manipulate you beyond There is no shame in wanting that - I'll repeat it, being a submissive. Things I've learnt from being a sub girl in a BDSM relationship that you do not have control over the situation, but if I tell him to stop, or use the. People have different preferences when it comes to sex. Some men like to be the dominant type, while others like to be submissive and let the woman take over.

The physical pain is just a small part of it. And surviving it, enduring it, is a feat. I know it's weird, but I feel like if I can do that, I can do anything.

I didn't tell any of my friends about Doug for nearly four years. I just didn't want to be judged. Eventually, I started revealing details when we'd talk about our sex lives. They couldn't believe that I liked being bossed around, that I allowed a man to hit me. I explained that in his normal life, Doug would never hurt a woman.

He even donates to a I want to try being a sub shelter! One day at lunch I showed my best friend some texts from Doug. She got really upset by the controlling things he wrote, like telling me what to wear to work.

And when I revealed that he had a wife, she was totally disgusted. We'd been friends for 18 years and she had been my maid of honor, but we haven't talked in nearly a year. Sometimes I feel like I'm someone's dirty little secret.

Doug is now a full-on conservative businessman.